We don’t touch…well, not directly. Prophylactically, yes.
This weekend I understood that there is no such thing as an eternal winter. Just like there’s no eternal summer. The summer days’ memories warm you up when it gets cold but it doesn’t make them less real just because they passed. Instead of seeing everything as unreal because ephemeral, I want to make a strength out of these ephemeral things.
This week, I got to the lowest I’ve been in years. Then I regained hope. And finally I lost a relative and I gained another family.
I wore something close to a family treasure and saw the fireworks. And as much as I thought about my family 10000km away grieving, I somehow had the strength to talk about the future and imagine something bright ahead with the person I love.
I somehow feel like I was meant to live this week and there’s nowhere I wasn’t meant to be. The lowest and the highest and both at the same time.
And I see now something that I’ve always done wrong : I deemed as invalid happiness if it doesn’t last and everything to be bound to bring sadness because it was ephemeral. But I was wrong.
The ephemeral things have to be my strength when winter comes and I have to strive for new and even better things out of this strength. You don’t find strength in coldness and pain. You find strength in warmth and love. You find strength because you care enough to get hurt and bleed but stand up again and hope and embrace things. You find strength in happiness and in difficult times, happiness is always behind. But it doesn’t mean it can’t be ahead. :)
This weekend has been exhausting but I made it through. Yesterday was Umi no Hi. A Japanese holiday, and my fiancé’s family decided to dress me in a family yukata. It was a handmade 40years old yukata given to his mother by his grandmother and that hasn’t been worn in 40 years.
I felt honored somehow. In this world, not two people had the same as mine. ^_^
40 years later and worn by a gaijin. Life is unpredictable :)
So that’s it. I’m going back to sleep :)
I love this post so much
my hand slipped
with their new hit song, “Randomly Searching 4 U”
I am re-reblogging just because that was so good
I think this one’s an Always Reblog, because the picture, the illustration, and the song title are just too damn perfect together.
It’s not a racial profile
It’s not the TSA
I’m just lookin’ for your sweet smile
In the most unhelpful way,
I am…randomly searching for you
The girl who can make my pre-check dreams come true,
Baby you can shoes on and your laptop in its case,
Just give me that sweet pat-down in our very special place I’m
Randomly searching for youuuuuuuu.
when u accidentally drop ur phone on ur face.
Do you ever think about all of the really nice drunk girls you’ve met in bathrooms and wonder how they are doing? I miss you all